Writing Tip of the Week: Stop Beating Yourself Up

Molly planned to write this weekend but became so obsessed with creating the perfect cup of coffee for her writing time that she forgot to write. Now she’s upset she didn’t write, but darn it if that coffee didn’t turn out great!

We’ve all been there at one point or another.  You planned to sit down and write when you got home from work or over the weekend, and instead, you cleaned, read, or binge-watched something.  Now, you feel guilty and sick about wasting time that could have been spent writing and creating.  You vow not to do it again.

Why do we do this to ourselves?  

Let’s talk about it.

You’re Not Lazy; Your Subconscious Is

Humans have a lot going on, and sometimes we don’t take the time to prioritize things that we want to do. While we may have the desire and ambition to write, our subconscious secretly talks us out of it.  Why?  Because writing and creating take effort and energy, and after a long week at work staring at a screen, your brain is sick of computers and wants to veg out and do something mindless.  

Interestingly, we often plan to do things like write, only to find ourselves doing anything but writing.

Possible Solution: Trick yourself.  Don’t think about writing during the week.  Don’t plan to write, don’t carve out time to write.  Just jump in the chair and start whenever you get a spare moment.  Now you’re writing at the computer or with a pen and paper, and you’ve overridden your subconscious’s ability to stop you.

Let the Guilt Go

It’s easy to feel guilty about not writing.  Heck, the news wants us to feel guilty about pretty much everything, everywhere, all at once.  That alone is exhausting and taxing, so adding one more thing to the pile – especially something you want to do – only makes you feel worse about yourself.  There may be genuine reasons to feel guilt, but missing a day or weekend of writing shouldn’t be one of them.

Possible Solution:  Accept that you didn’t write when you wanted to, but know you will get to it when you can.  Creativity can’t flourish and grow under the oppressive weight of guilt and disappointment.  Free your mind from these things and allow your creative self the freedom it deserves. 

Newsflash: You’re Human

Part of being human is missing opportunities, making mistakes, and not getting to things we planned to do.  Oh well.  Life happens.  

And when life happens, we have to accept that we didn’t have the time to write, or we didn’t make the time to write, or chose not to write.  All of them are okay, and beating yourself up about past choices won’t help resolve or improve the present.  

Making the time, taking the time, and choosing to write and create is a positive and energizing process. You’ve done it before, and you’ll do it again.  So, you didn’t get to it this weekend.  Okay.  Or this month.  Uh-huh.  Or this year.  Whatever.  

Eventually, if you want it bad enough, desire it enough, and have the passion, you will get back to writing. 

One word at a time.  One sentence at a time.  One paragraph at a time.  You can make it happen, but don’t let negativity, guilt, or beating yourself up prevent you from getting there.

Happy Writing, and I’ll see you next time!