Writing Tip of the Week: Stop Beating Yourself Up

Molly planned to write this weekend but became so obsessed with creating the perfect cup of coffee for her writing time that she forgot to write. Now she’s upset she didn’t write, but darn it if that coffee didn’t turn out great!

We’ve all been there at one point or another.  You planned to sit down and write when you got home from work or over the weekend, and instead, you cleaned, read, or binge-watched something.  Now, you feel guilty and sick about wasting time that could have been spent writing and creating.  You vow not to do it again.

Why do we do this to ourselves?  

Let’s talk about it.

You’re Not Lazy; Your Subconscious Is

Humans have a lot going on, and sometimes we don’t take the time to prioritize things that we want to do. While we may have the desire and ambition to write, our subconscious secretly talks us out of it.  Why?  Because writing and creating take effort and energy, and after a long week at work staring at a screen, your brain is sick of computers and wants to veg out and do something mindless.  

Interestingly, we often plan to do things like write, only to find ourselves doing anything but writing.

Possible Solution: Trick yourself.  Don’t think about writing during the week.  Don’t plan to write, don’t carve out time to write.  Just jump in the chair and start whenever you get a spare moment.  Now you’re writing at the computer or with a pen and paper, and you’ve overridden your subconscious’s ability to stop you.

Let the Guilt Go

It’s easy to feel guilty about not writing.  Heck, the news wants us to feel guilty about pretty much everything, everywhere, all at once.  That alone is exhausting and taxing, so adding one more thing to the pile – especially something you want to do – only makes you feel worse about yourself.  There may be genuine reasons to feel guilt, but missing a day or weekend of writing shouldn’t be one of them.

Possible Solution:  Accept that you didn’t write when you wanted to, but know you will get to it when you can.  Creativity can’t flourish and grow under the oppressive weight of guilt and disappointment.  Free your mind from these things and allow your creative self the freedom it deserves. 

Newsflash: You’re Human

Part of being human is missing opportunities, making mistakes, and not getting to things we planned to do.  Oh well.  Life happens.  

And when life happens, we have to accept that we didn’t have the time to write, or we didn’t make the time to write, or chose not to write.  All of them are okay, and beating yourself up about past choices won’t help resolve or improve the present.  

Making the time, taking the time, and choosing to write and create is a positive and energizing process. You’ve done it before, and you’ll do it again.  So, you didn’t get to it this weekend.  Okay.  Or this month.  Uh-huh.  Or this year.  Whatever.  

Eventually, if you want it bad enough, desire it enough, and have the passion, you will get back to writing. 

One word at a time.  One sentence at a time.  One paragraph at a time.  You can make it happen, but don’t let negativity, guilt, or beating yourself up prevent you from getting there.

Happy Writing, and I’ll see you next time!

Writing Tip of the Week: Becoming a Self-Aware Writer

Most writing takes place in a state of solitude.  It’s us – the writer – versus the blank page in an epic battle to create a compelling narrative that will leave future readers or viewers spellbound and wanting more.  It’s great to have the mindset that what we are creating is exceptional, but we also have to give ourselves the opportunity for reflection and self-awareness when it comes to our own work.

Self-Awareness, Not Self-Criticism

Being self-aware as a writer means having the ability to write something, step back, and find the issues that need fixing.  It doesn’t mean beating yourself up or telling yourself negative things about your writing skills or you as a writer.

It doesn’t matter what level of writer you are; the ability to look at your work and make the changes necessary to craft a stronger narrative is a skill that can assist your quest to become a better writer.

This is not a skill that can be achieved overnight but can be learned over time.  The more you write, the more you’ll sense when pacing is off, dialogue isn’t working, or there’s a lack of conflict or stakes in the chapter or scene.  It’s easy to see these issues in other people’s works, but utilizing this skill with your own work is a must in your writer’s toolbox.

Self-Awareness and Your Subconscious

Have you ever written something, walked away, and a few hours later began to deconstruct what you wrote and found problems with the story or a character’s actions?  That is self-awareness, and it’s your subconscious telling you that there are potential changes to be made.

Don’t get upset or frustrated.  This is where the growth and writing magic can happen.

Your mind is still writing long after your fingers have quit tapping the keyboard.  Your subconscious knows your story, knows your characters, and knows where the problems are.  Don’t get discouraged when these red flags pop up.  Your brain gives you clues as to what to fix to make your work stronger.

As long as you take a proactive approach to the changes and don’t stop writing, these moments of creative clarity can profoundly impact your writing and subsequent drafts of your project.

Self-Awareness from the Start

As you craft your outline, you may start to internally ask yourself questions about various aspects of your story.  That’s good.  Write these questions down.  Will they be answered later in the story?  Are the questions related to structure or character?  Keep a list of these questions as you work on your outline and see if they are questions worth exploring once the outline is completed.  

It’s often better to have most of the answers related to your story resolved before you start writing to avoid any hang-ups during the drafting process.  While drafting, you may come across other issues, but answering questions that pop up while working on your outline will get many structural problems fixed before you begin.

Self-Awareness Makes for Better Writing

Your writing reflects you and reflects who you are as a writer.  If you think that your first draft is perfection with no need to edit or even have a trusted person read it before you publish, you lack self-awareness as a writer.

Every good writer takes the time to hone their craft and make revisions when necessary, and they almost always are necessary to some extent.  Yes, you may have written a short story that is 100% perfect on your first draft, but novels and screenplays will often have issues that need to be fixed before they are taken to the next stage.

Start by walking away from your draft for a week or two, then come back with fresh eyes.  Maybe your subconscious has been gnawing at you for the past two weeks about issues in the story, and you’ve written them down to address them later.  

Now start at page one and read – don’t skim – every sentence, paragraph, and chapter with fresh eyes and a new perspective.  You will see some glaring problems, maybe a few typos, and other things that definitely need tweaking.  

And that’s great!  You are making a better product and making yourself a better writer.

Final Thoughts

Being a self-aware writer means that you care about the work you are producing, and you respect your completed work’s potential reader or viewer.  By taking this step and putting in the effort to make your writing better, you further your goals of being a more productive and confident writer.

Happy Writing, and I’ll see you next time!